When Laura Coleman-Day’s husband Xander began to feel unwell, they initially dismissed it as a series of viruses contracted from their son Amos’s nursery. As hard-working, sleep-deprived parents devoted to their young son, the thought that Xander could be seriously ill didn’t cross their minds.
He kept catching bugs and had really bad night sweats, but we just thought it was normal,” says Laura, 33. “So I told him: ‘Either stop moaning or go to a doctor.’ The GP couldn’t put his finger on it but said something wasn’t right. We were sent for bloods, and that same evening we were told to get him to A&E where it emerged his white blood cell count was through the roof.”
Xander, a fit and active RAF aerospace battle manager, was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukaemia, an aggressive form of blood cancer. The news came as a profound shock to the couple from Witham St Hughs, in Lincolnshire, and before they could fully comprehend the situation, he began emergency chemotherapy.
Subsequent tests revealed that he carried the Philadelphia chromosome, a genetic anomaly which indicated that a stem cell transplant would offer him the best chance of survival. By December 2022, Xander was declared cancer-free, but he proceeded with the transplant in January to prevent any recurrence of the leukaemia.
The couple were cautiously optimistic despite the absence of disease symptoms, knowing the journey ahead was still fraught with uncertainty. Laura shared: “It was good news and we were both really happy,” but admitted, “But we thought it was just one step in what was going to be a long road to recovery.”
Xander’s condition remained serious, , reports Lincolnshire Live, forcing them to spend Christmas alone, quarantined in preparation for his return to the hospital for a stem cell transplant. Laura likened the isolation to the days of Covid.
Enduring a challenging treatment regimen, Xander remained resilient and hopeful, deliberately avoiding any discussion about survival odds or statistics. Tragically, their period of hope was brief – by June 2023, Xander’s health had once again deteriorated.
He developed graft-versus-host disease, where the donor immune cells attacked his body, leading to organ failure. After battling multiple infections and kidney failure, by February 2024, they faced the devastating reality that no further treatments were available.
Xander, who had lived a healthy lifestyle, now needed palliative care. Tragically, only hours after leaving the hospital, Xander passed away at the age of 36, fulfilling his last wish to pass away in his own bed.
“We fought all day to get him home,’ Laura shares with a heavy heart. “And he passed away two or three hours later. He was where he wanted to be.
“He fought so hard. He stayed positive until the very end.
“You read about things like this happening to other families, and you think, ‘That’ll never be us.’ But then one day, it is.
“It’s impossible to wrap your head around.” In the past year, Laura has taken on an arduous challenge in Xander’s memory, running 12 marathons in 12 months and raising thousands for Anthony Nolan, the charity that supported them and found a donor.
This Sunday, she will run her 13th marathon, the London Marathon, which coincides with what would have been their sixth wedding anniversary. She plans to complete the final miles in her bridal gown, a full ‘proper princess dress’ with a long train.”
“It’s ridiculous,” she chuckles. “Xander would be telling me I’m completely bonkers – and he wouldn’t be wrong.
“”He was my biggest cheerleader, my best friend. He would be so proud of what I’ve done – not just the running, but the awareness, the fundraising, just keeping going through the hardest year of my life.”
The months following Xander’s death have been unimaginable for Laura, who now faces single parenthood. “Amos was two when his dad died,” she reveals. “He’s three now. He’s my reason for everything.
“I’ve told people honestly: if it weren’t for Amos, I wouldn’t still be here. ” She added: “He’s the most wonderful little boy. So like his dad in temperament, mannerisms, and he’s the spitting image of him, so that that keeps me going.”
The devoted mum, who works as a solicitor, managed to fit in her marathon training using a treadmill at home while her baby slept. Laura has raised an impressive sum of over £14,000 so far to “help save future mummies and daddies” from the heart-wrenching ordeal she and Xander endured.
Pascale Harvie, president and general manager at JustGiving, said: “Laura’s incredible 12 marathons in 12 months challenge is a remarkable display of her strength and determination. By taking on this massive fundraising challenge, Laura has raised an impressive £14,000 for Anthony Nolan and we at JustGiving cannot applaud her enough.”
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